NOT in the Northwestern!

DESTINATION VENEZUELA

Hizzonerdamare Bill Castle and County Exec. Mark Harris will be leaving next week for sunny Venezuela. Taking a cue from former Madison Mayor Paul Soglin visiting Fidel Castro in Cuba some years ago, Mr. Castle and Mr. Harris will be meeting with none other than Hugo Chavez. They hope that Mr. Chavez can help Oshkosh and Winnebago County worm their way out of the current budget crisis. Preliminary communications indicate that they will get a warm welcome in Curacas.

To put it bluntly they are going to ask Chavez for some cheap gasoline. Horse-trading will be the order of the day. In return for cheap gas there will be a number of trade-offs. 9th Street will be renamed Hugo Chavez Pkwy. along with a number of other name changes, parks, public buildings, schools and the like. A 'sister-city' 'sister county' will be arranged too. The nice thing is that gasoline throughout the county will be selling for about 30-cents a gallon with snowplows running 24/7. Business will take off here and my favorite: Due to the cheap gas direct flights will depart Wittman Field daily for Curacas bringing folks by the thousands from Milwaukee, Chicago, and the Twin Cities.

G.O.P. MIDWEST CONVENTION

A meeting of the minds is scheduled between the Red Neck Republicans and the Log Cabin Republicans. They will be making a sincere attempt to iron out their differences. The convention will be held in Minnesota since Wisconsin still hasn't passed a concealed carry law. Ripon is disappointed.

STOCK MARKET

The DOW reached 11,700 this week. The last time it was this high William Jefferson Clinton was President. Remind a Republican how good their party is at running the economy.

SOCIAL SECURITY

January 1, 2007 will mark the beginning of a new era. Workers will have no deductions for S.S. until their income hits $90,000. At that point deductions kick in. (What the Hell. It's worth a try.)

POPULATION

Sometime this month the U.S. population will reach 300 million. We are spending 8 billion a month in Iraq. Let's see...
$8,000,000,000 divided by 300,ooo,ooo people. You do the math.

GASOLINE

Gas will go up the first Wednesday in November. Whoa! It will start to go up the week before but not enough to scare the Republicans into not staying the curse.

Peace.