Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Abortion, God, Guns, & Gays / Redneck Republicans & FEAR!

Defining a Redneck Republican would take far more time and energy than I wish to spend on such a mundane subject. Suffice it to say, Redneck Republicans (RNR's) are fun to pimp.

Question: Is it true that you are against abortion and favor lowering or eliminating welfare payments?
RNR replies: Aaaahh... That's not fair.

Republicans hate children. Get used to it. Corner them like greased pigs. They are.

Abortion is fine or it's not fine. I'll make my own decision about it but I'll be damned if I decide what my neighbor, the family across town, or the family in Armpit, Nebraska is going to do. That's their business. I'm going to assume that they and their MD's have some level of intelligence. In fact they might be a lot smarter than I am.

Maybe the RNR's are right. We could go back to the coathanger and suicide days with no government welfare.

On the subject of God...

RNR's will tell you that liberals are godless. A minute later they'll tell you that if we'd killed a few more Hmongs in 1968 there wouldn't be as many of them here. The next minute it's the FEAR thing. The lightning will strike you dead. The people on the left coast will be swallowed by craters caused by the great quake.

RNR's quote the Bible and often in the same sentence spew hate and fear. I don't buy it.

Introduce them to Rupert Murdoch, the Republican owner of FOX, most responsible for pushing the nasty edge of nasty on the tube. Thank the RNR's for supporting this trend.

On Guns...

The largest most well known gun bill in my lifetime has been the Brady Bill.

Mr Brady was a ________. (Republican)

The Brady bill was signed by a Republican President named _____. (Bush)

Don't like gun laws? Don't vote Republican.

Tell a Redneck Republican that Osama's under his bed.

On Gays...

It's fear. Redneck Republicans are terrified of Gays, terrified of feminism. They live in fear of anything outside their tunnel-vision of life.

Want to strike absolute fear in a Redneck Republican?

Enter the room at the start of the Packer game. Comment on how nicely the make-up has been applied to the sportscasters. Wonder aloud if the announcers trade make-up secrets.

That's all for today. If you have the cash, borrow a Redneck Republican's pickup truck and bring it back painted pink.


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