Tuesday, January 03, 2006

2006 News Recap, December '06

Readers will note that I am writing this one-year in advance. Nothing like getting a jump on the news...

Bob Poeschl is still recovering from his accident. You may remember hearing about Bob's commission to paint the ceiling of a local chapel and his subsequent fall from the ladder. Many were surprised that he would want to do a religious painting at all, but he did say he was "just in it for the money." He hasn't been the same since that fall, and has been seen at times babbling in tongues and claiming to communicate with long deceased artists. He is now painting at a feverish pace...12 to 18 hours a day, and refuses to take a paycheck saying: "God will provide."

Bob has joined forces with Jut M. in a new venture called "BOB & JUT'S TRU-GREEN DAPPER DIAPER SERVICE", which began due to added expenses at home. Jut says business stinks. Amanda does the 'paper-work', Jenna washes the diapers, and Jut delivers the goods in their new state-of-the-art methane powered van, the methane of course recovered from the dirty diapers. Bob has been too busy to help plus the fact that all he seems to accomplish (when he is there) is to insert bible tracts in the outgoing orders.

Ron Hardy is still behind bars regarding his arrest in November 2006 for book burning. He is charged with stealing books from UWO Polk Library and using them in his recently refurbished living room fireplace at home. It is claimed that he has routinely stolen any and all right wing books which don't suit his politics. Ron's counterclaim is that politics and censorship had nothing to do with the book burning, the real culprit was an out of control power and light bill. He also claims that the books he took were not singled out for political thought, but picked for lower creosote levels. Good luck Ron.

Tony Palmeri's website is decidedly not as hard-edged as it used to be, but is still the most popular in town. It is much bolder, sleek might be a better word. His much expanded news coverage is great but he is downplaying the recent start of war with Iran. I have an inside track on this. A student of his suggested that he might improve his website with an infusion of outside money. Tony took the dare and now has a corporate sponsor. I personally think that they could have come up with a more original name than: "OshkoshTruckTonyPalmeri.com". Tony says nothing has changed but some things just stick out like a sore thumb. I know he makes a few more bucks than most of us but how many people own a brand new Hummer, painted green with 'Time for Tony' on the sides and 'Tony for Governor' on the front and back? He made a big thing out of hopping a city bus to catch the Greyhound to take him to the train station for his annual trip to the Big Apple to see his brother, but was spotted out at the airport walking right past the Greyhound ticket desk and hurriedly walking out the tarmac onto a private jet. Need I say more?

Earlier this year it became public knowledge that Stewart Rieckman from the Northwestern was having his Sunday column and his blog, 'Everyday Editor' ghostwritten. Everyone knows Stu doesn't give a damn about writing anything so this news came as no surprise. The real news is that this blogger has uncovered who these ghostwriters are. This may come as a shock to some but the principal ghostwriter is none other than Kay Springstroh. Kay may not be happy about this becoming public but face it; I'd take the extra bucks if I could write as well as she does. Go girl! I was tipped off about another ghostwriter he uses from time to time by a little green man from Oshkosh. This writer has her own blog which operates in a sometimes windy city with a 'beer lodge' about 10-miles from the town the Flatlanders (Illinoisans') call E-Claire (Eau Claire). Her name is Judy and her blog is called "The Side Street". I think Judy does a good job ghostwriting and critiquing same.

Yours truly: 'Gary' has teamed up with Rev. Ralph Ovadal and spent summer weekends preying(?praying?) on tourists on the lower Wisconsin River. For more go here:

In other news a new Junior High School is scheduled to open in the old Wal-Mart building. Rev. Moon recently leased the property and is anxious to begin collecting Wisconsin Taxpayer $bucks$ under the expanded School Choice program and give our children some religion. Rumor has it that Miles MaGuire, a former employee of Rev. Moon, will go back to work for his old boss, and run the 'moonie' school.

On the national scene...

Astute readers will remember that the color-coded terror alert system has only been raised in the 2-months before the 2004 elections, at the start of the U.S./Iran War earlier this year, and in September and October 2006 just previous to the November 2006 elections. Is there a pattern here or am I just imagining things?
Readers: If I forgot something or you have something to add for the December 2006 news please post your comment here while there still is time. Happy 2007 folks.


angel said...

excuse me& my butting in here but I just wanna say that When I am finished, I am going to have my own list. Not that it matters tho, cause no one knows my friends, they are from Penn state etc.

-If you are truly that curious and have nothing better to do with your time-:) just kidding!
it'll be under the "musical adventures" blog.

If you knew these guys then you would realise just how funny it is.
yeah, why dont you get aqainted?
(ps: this is not an endorsement)

more to come, stay tuned.


Ron Hardy said...

Ha Ha,

That is really funny! Only problem with your 'Ron Hardy' story is that the UWO Polk Library doesn't have any Right Wing Books to burn - we never bought them in the first place! Ha ha! (I'm kidding, I personally selected the Hardcover Ann Coulter Collection for the Putney Room).

The 2006 story you left out is the one about when Gary from Oshkosh was selected to become the Oshkosh Poverty Tsar - giving him the authority to reign in all of the non-profits that deal with homelessness under his direct authori-TAY. Father Carr, who resisted at first, finally relented and Gary from Oshkosh suprisingly found a nice happy homeless person laying in each of the 155 beds of "The Place 2B".


AngelAiken AKA Thee U.M.O.G said...

*ROFL* ha ha oh man...I am speechless you guys are crazy!!
:) just kidding

Dustin said...

I used to live at father carr's for two months. I still go there for the meals everynight. it's hell on earth.